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A Dear Friend and Life's Suffering

Dear Friend: One of my best friends has been battling cancer for over two and a half years. This friend is especially dear to me since we share a special chemistry that few people experience in their lifetime. He is an incredible person and one of the most amazing human beings I’ve ever met. He lives in the UK, which is a 10-hour flight from LA. I was lucky enough to visit him this summer and spend a couple of weeks with him and his lovely wife, who is also very dear to me. We had an incredible time full of laughter, long walks, and great conversations. Before the trip, I told myself to make the most of it and save the tears for later. Sure enough, on the bus after saying our goodbyes, I couldn’t help but cry most of the way to the airport. Thanks to technology, we stay in constant contact, and I hope he can win the battle against cancer so we can create more memories together.

Life’s Suffering: When I went to Asia in 2018, I learned a great deal about Buddhism. At its heart, it is a philosophy of life that also manifests as a religion. The Buddha said that life is suffering because we are attached to people and things. One of the goals of Buddhism is to love without attachment, which is complex for us humans to conceive of and even harder to practice. It is hard for me to imagine reaching this capability. Life is suffering, and I feel that a lot these days, not just because of my friend’s condition but also because I may have to separate from other loved ones who cause me suffering. Ironically, separating from them would also cause me suffering. These choices, where either way you suffer, are everywhere in life, making it hard to know what is correct. I also think about people I’ve already separated from, willingly and unwillingly, and wonder what life would be like with them still in it.

Writing these blogs helps me sort out my thoughts. This blog, in particular, is emotional for me, but putting it into writing helps me feel better. Thanks for reading :)

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